The truth is inevitable
by emily-jane4
Summary: CJ tries to run from events in her past but she finds that secrets can never stay hidden for long.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The West Wing belongs to the wonderful mind of Aaron Sorkin. I own nothing!

Setting: Bartlett for America campaign on a swing through visit of Ohio 3 months before the election.

"CJ, the Governor just heard about a foster home near here that's been doing great things. He wants to do a flying visit. You should have heard him! He went on for so long I can't remember the name of the place. Anyway it's on Connolly Street; you're from Dayton you can figure it out. We have an hour max. We have to get to Cleveland tonight."

"Wait Josh where are you running off to? I really don't think we have time for this. He still hasn't prepped for the speech with the teachers unions later."

"I know, but he's adamant CJ. You know how he gets. Call them and let them know we're coming ….. And that there'll be Press there. I have to go find Toby and Sam. I swear if they don't finish tonight's speech soon one of them is going to spontaneously combust. Or maybe I will ….DONNA!"

Josh takes off in the direction of the hotel lobby leaving CJ alone sitting at a makeshift desk in her room surrounded by briefing notes and press releases still in their formative stages. Sighing CJ writes down a once familiar number on a scrap of paper. She'll have her assistant Carol call the foster home and arrange the visit. She simply doesn't have time right now. The pace of the campaign had trebled since the Governor had won the democratic nomination. Sleep had become a distant memory. Tired as they were they lived for the adrenaline rush of a hard fought campaign.

This was her first national campaign and at first she had been worried she wouldn't be able to handle the constant stress and never-ending workload but she had never imagine the sense of accomplishment she would get out of the work they were doing here. It certainly beat working the entertainment accounts at her last job.

And God she had come to really love these people. Toby, Josh, Sam, Leo, Abbey and the Governor, the assistants Carol, Donna, Margaret and Mrs Landingham. They had all become a surrogate family to her over the last few months. She can't remember ever being this close to a group of people. Be that as it may, she still hadn't managed to tell them about her past. She skilfully redirected their questions every time anyone got too personal about her family or her childhood.

She tries valiantly to come up with an excuse to avoid accompanying the Governor to St. Agnes' foster home but she can't. Leaving him without a Press Secretary in a room full of Press at this stage in the campaign would be a recipe for disaster. His ability to insult whole States with one of his ill-judged jokes is fast becoming stuff of campaign legend. They certainly won't be winning Texas unless maybe John Hoynes can undo some of the damage with his unique brand of charm. No she will just have to suck it up and go along. They were all going to find out sometime. It's not like growing up in a foster home is anything to be ashamed of. She would just rather avoid the awkward questions and pitying looks that are sure to come her way when her story becomes common knowledge.

Walking through the door the memories hit CJ like a punch in the gut. She almost gasped. The place was different and yet exactly the same. It even smelled the same. Desperately hoping she wouldn't be recognised she followed Governor Bartlett and Abbey into the common area where the staff and the kids had gathered to greet them. They had certainly made an effort. Bartlett for America posters decorated the walls which had been painted a warm yellow colour in contrast to the dull grey blue of CJ's years. Breathing a sigh of relief she realised that she didn't recognise any of the staff members gathered at the top of the large room. Following the Governors lead once more she shakes hands with the staff, two homely looking women, a man about her age and a few young enthusiastic looking volunteers from the local community college. Sam was close behind her doing the same. Josh. Toby and Leo had stayed at the hotel to discuss debate specifics with Congressman Jackson's people. CJ looked for any signs of recognition among the foster home workers as she introduced herself but found none. She was in the clear for now at least.

The male social worker introduced himself as Jason Leary and led them on a tour of the building. They were followed by three members of the Press, Danny, Chris and Steve. They were all seasoned political journalists who CJ felt she could trust to be mindful of the privacy of the kids living here. As the group made their way around looking at the dorms, recreation rooms and even a makeshift library CJ had to agree with the Governor that the staff had truly been doing great work here. The improvements were astounding.

For her part CJ found it difficult to pay attention to the conversation being carried on between the Bartlett's and the staff and kids that had tagged along. She was reliving memories of her time here she had thought were long forgotten. Photographs lined the halls and she shuddered slightly when she saw a picture of herself as she had been then. Tall and gangly she smiled shyly into the camera. But her smile failed to reach her eyes. They were haunted, shadowing the pain and terror of that awful night that brought her here. She sped up slightly, wanting to leave the memories in the past where they belonged, not wanting to remember any more about that particular time in her past.

CJ could barely mask her relief when she informed the Governor that their time was up and they needed to leave. Walking out the door she felt a weight lift from her shoulders. She straightened up to her considerable height. She was no longer the terrified twelve year old girl that had lived here once. She was Press Secretary for a national campaign for President of the United States and she was doing a damn good job too. Maybe the past really could stay here where it belonged and she could get on with her job and her life.

Getting into the car she felt someone watching her. She looked up and met the curious gaze of Washington Post correspondent Danny Concannon. Her stomach clenched and a warning sounded in her head. She knew Danny a little by now and had heard much of his reputation as journalist. He was like a blood hound and would stop at nothing to sniff out a story. Josh had wasted no time warning her to be careful around him when he started following Governor Bartlett's campaign. If anyone could expose her story it was Danny. Shaking off the brief moment of panic she promised herself she would tell everyone soon. Just not today. She got into the car and listened to Josiah Bartlett talk about his plans to fix every foster home in the country once he was elected President. Smoothing a look of calm she didn't feel onto her face she pretended to pay attention as they sped away from her past back to the hotel.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later Toby and CJ were sitting at a corner table of the bar at their latest hotel. They all looked the same to her by now having been living in hotels for the last few months. She was working on her second grasshopper while Toby drowned his sorrows over another fight with Andi in a bottle of scotch. She was feeling the buzz of the alcohol already probably because she had gotten three hours sleep last night and hadn't eaten since breakfast. The campaign was turning her into a lightweight.

"Danny Concannon is staring at you" Toby sounded morose. "It's probably because I'm an incredibly beautiful woman Toby. I'm surprised you haven't noticed by now." Oh yes she was definitely approaching drunk. "I've known you for fifteen years CJ. There's nothing I haven't noticed about you." She smiled ruefully. "Somehow I doubt that Pokey." He got to his feet looking more defeated than she had ever seen him. "Goodnight CJ, don't stay up too late." "Goodnight Tobus, she replied softly." Campaigning might be hard on sleeping patterns but it was hell on marriages. Toby's subdued gait as he shuffled form the room made her grateful for her single status.

Her thoughts soon shifted back to Danny Concannon. Toby was right; he had been staring at her. It was a pattern she had noticed over the past few days since leaving St. Agnes' home. Maybe she was being paranoid. Maybe he did have a crush on her. This certainly wouldn't be the first time she had caught a man staring at her. At any rate the amount of alcohol currently coursing through her veins gave her just the right amount of courage to confront him. Picking up her almost empty glass she made her way to the bar.

"Hello."

"Hello" he shot back not bothering to look up at her. Oh so now he chooses not to look at her. Well two can play at that game she thought as she got the bartenders attention and ordered another drink. She caught his slight smirk when she asked for a grasshopper. Why did everyone have a problem with her drink of choice? The bartender placed the green concoction in front of her and she took a sip then placed the glass back in front of her and stared into it's until she felt his eyes on her once more.

"Can I help you with something?" she snapped. "I don't know, can you?" His blue eyes twinkled mischievously. He was rumpled and unkempt and completely not her type but there was something about his confidence and the sincerity in his eyes she couldn't help but find attractive. Erasing that thought from her mind she returned to the issue at hand.

"Toby thinks you were staring at me." "Toby's a smart guy. I gather you two have known each other a long time. Did you meet him when you were growing up in Dayton?" "Jeez reporters don't half sound like stalkers! No", she replied slowly, cautiously "we met in New York actually." "It must have been nice for you to be home last week." "Not particularly Danny. I grew up in Dayton sure but it hasn't been home to me for a long time."

Maybe coming over here hadn't been the best idea. The alcohol had lowered her defences and she was saying far more than she should to a member of the Press Corp. Danny was a decent guy but she wasn't in the right frame of mind to be talking to him right now. Being in Dayton even for such a short time had really thrown her. She had left for college at seventeen and never looked back.

The other night she had snuck out of the hotel late and taken a walk through the town. She passed her old school and soon found herself outside her house. It was still her house. It had been kept in the family trust all these years. Something she was grateful for now so she wouldn't have to disclose it on any financial disclosure forms. The place was overgrown and eerie looking in the dark. Then again it would probably look eerie in the daylight too. People around here had a long memory and there was no way the house would ever sell after what had transpired inside those walls. On the few occasions she let herself think about this place over the last few years she had been reluctant to knock it down. It was the only link she had to those happy years she had with her family before everything had gone so very wrong. Deciding against going to the graveyard she had made her way back to the hotel. She was hanging on to her composure by her fingertips and she really couldn't afford to fall apart at this stage in the campaign.

Danny shifted in his seat bringing her back to the present. "Do they know…?" he asked her gently. Her eyes flew to his and she saw the knowledge written all over his face. Damn him and his journalistic talent. The panic bubbled up in her stomach again. It felt like it hadn't left her since the campaign had crossed into Ohio last week.

"How did you …" she trailed off weakly not sure if she even wanted to know. "At St. Agnes' there are captions under some of the pictures in the hallway. Claudia Jean Cregg isn't a very common name, so I did some digging." "Of course you did. Danny who else has this?" "No one yet CJ. But it wasn't very hard to find once I knew to look." "Are you going to write about it? It's not a story Danny. It happened over two decades ago. This is going to follow me forever isn't it," she dropped her head in her hands suddenly exhausted.

"Look CJ your right, it's not a story and I'm not going to write it. That's not my style. But if you guys get to the White House which I really believe you will people are going to be looking and this will most definitely come out. You need to tell the Governor and the rest of the staff CJ. You'll make a great Press Secretary," he says softly "but you need to tell them."

She reached out and placed her hand over his slightly. She didn't know just why exactly he was being so nice to her. He could easily have run with this story and gotten a front page article out of it. And yet she didn't feel like he was going to take advantage of this or ask her for anything in return. "Thank you Danny, for sitting on this. I will tell them. I just need a little more time. It's not exactly something that's easy to work into everyday conversation. I don't want this to change their opinion of me, make them think I can't do my job. I can't bear to see pity on their face when they look at me."

She glanced up at him then, afraid he might be looking at her like that now, like she was a victim. There was no pity on his face just understanding. There was a glint of something else in his eyes too. Attraction? No that had to be the alcohol talking. Too bad he was a White House reporter 'cos he really seemed like one of the good guys. He got to his feet slowly. "Goodnight CJ. And well if you ever need someone to talk to ill be around." "You're a good man Daniel but I'm fine, really. "Okay" he says lightly in that way of his and turns and leaves the bar.

He was right of course. She will have to tell everyone about this soon. When this comes out her ability to do her job will undoubtedly be questioned. People will think she's unstable with no evidence of it from her behaviour. Why did everything have to come out eventually? Surely everyone deserved to keep some secrets. But where the media and presidential campaigns are involved there can be no secrets. Intellectually she knows that. Now she just has to convince her heart of it. She will tell them soon she promised herself once again. Soon … just not tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

CJ couldn't remember falling asleep but there was a part of her that knew she was dreaming. It had been a long time since she had had this nightmare. Her subconscious had forced her to relive the worst moments of her life on many occasions over the years but lately the bad dreams had plagued her less and less. Maybe that's why tonight was particularly vivid and intense. She saw the events of that night more clearly than ever through the eyes of a terrified twelve year old.

It started as it always does with her and her family gathered in the sitting room. It's getting late and her parents are warning her and her brothers that it's almost time for bed. The resistance that ensues is interrupted by a noise from the back of the house. Henry, their golden cocker spaniel puppy, must have gotten out of the house through the cat-flap again. Her father goes to check it out.

Her fathers shout and the sound of a gun firing takes the family by complete surprise and everyone freezes. Her mother jumps up and grabs the phone while motioning her brothers to move behind her. Before she can finish dialling footsteps can be heard coming closer down the hall. She wants to cry out in fear, call for her father, but she can't make a sound. Terror binds her more effectively than ropes ever could and she's paralysed.

Then there is a stranger standing in the doorway and he is surely more monster than human. As she struggles to breathe through the panic certain things about this monster are seared into her brain. The dirty face and matted hair, crooked teeth and long pointed fingernails coated in dirt and something else. Blood. It was his eyes that stood out the most. They were the palest blue imaginable and they gleamed with a murderous excitement. Young and naïve as she was she knew crazy when she saw it and this man certainly fit the bill.

Where's Daddy? was all she could think as this man advanced into the room towards her family. Her mother glanced around her looking for an escape for her and her children. Her big brother Bill moved to stand in front of her. The stranger laughed when he saw this. James her fourteen year old brother who was tall for his age and brave as a result called out 'what do you want?' A choked maniacal laughter was his only response. He raised his gun and fired. She sees the look of pain and hopelessness on her mother's face as she falls to the ground. She whimpers in terror and agony when James falls too.

Screams fill the room and it takes her a while to realise they are coming from her. They almost drown out Bills roar of horror and rage. The gun rings out again and Bill is no longer shouting. She doesn't understand. It's too much, all happening too fast. Who is this man? Why is he hurting her family? He steps closer to her and she smells sweat and putrid breath. She sees the glint of mettle in his hand. A knife. He grabs her throat and now she really can't breathe. She claws at his arms but it's no use. Everything starts to go dark. She hears sirens in the distance and feels the cold steel of his knife against her stomach. Just as she passes out she feels pain, sharp and relentless as the knife bites into her skin.

Her eyes spring open as she wakes up in bed gasping for breath and shaking. Sobs rack her body and tears stream down her face. She's soaked in sweat and the sheets are wound tightly around her. She struggles to free herself and sits on the edge of the bed willing her heart rate to slow. The violence and brutality of the scene she had just relived never fails to shock her. The senseless murder fills her with anger and fear. The fact that her family's killer was never caught, that he could be out there somewhere maybe even killing again terrifies her. The injustice of it all is sometimes too much to bear.

Gradually her heart rate slows and her breathing returns to normal. She reminds herself that the events of the dream happened over two decades ago. She thinks of her family and she knows they wouldn't want her to suffer like this, stuck in limbo reliving their deaths over and over. She can honour them better by moving on and doing something good with her life that was somehow spared from death at the hands of a madman. Running her hand over the scar on her abdomen she resolves to work harder than ever to get Governor Bartlett elected President. With a good man like him in office and with Leo and her spin boys supporting him too maybe they could change this country for the better. Maybe they could make it a safer place for people to raise families and go about their lives in peace. She hopes her family would be proud of her if they could see her now. Getting up off the bed she gathers her toiletries and heads for the shower. She couldn't go back to sleep now anyway so she may as well get to work.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Thanks to everyone who has read this story so far. It's my very first fan fiction so I was really nervous posting. Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it and feel free to leave a review if you have any advice for a novice writer!

Three years later during Bartlett's third year in office (season 2 set around the leadership breakfast and before the MS but very much AU)

The senior staff are gathered in the Oval office for a morning meeting with the President. Unfortunately it's a glacially slow news day and CJ is struggling to come up with anything she thinks will grab the attention of the press for her 10am briefing. If she has learned anything in her time in the White House is that the Press much like nature abhor a vacuum and that slow news days usually become bad news days for this administration. She is determined to find something to give to the press even if she has to invent new policy to do it.

"Toby you really don't have anything for me? This is ridiculous. This is the United States of America and you my friend are the White House Director of Communications. Are you honestly telling me you have nothing you want me to convey to the Press and through them the entire country?"

"CJ you spoon feed them anyway" Josh pipes in. "You should let them find their own stories for once. Put their investigative journalism skills to good use."

"You're kidding me right? That's exactly what I don't want them to do Josh. Maybe I should point them in your direction. Financial disclosures are coming up again. I'm sure they could find plenty to write about there. What was your accountants name again?"

Sam snickered as Josh quickly began to backpedal. "Hmm ok you might be right CJ. There has to be something we're working on that's ready for the Press."

Charlie enters the room hastily. "Sir there's a phone call for you," he addresses the President. "And who may you say is calling this fine morning Charlie?" "That would be the Governor of Nevada sir. I believe it's urgent."

"Alright Leo you stay. The rest of you go find something to do. CJ we might just have something for you to report to the Press after all."

There was a chorus of "Yes sir" and "Thank you Mr President" as the senior staff filed out of the room.

CJ wondered just what would be waiting for the President when he picked up the phone. Hoping an earthquake hadn't wiped out LA she made her way back to her office. Whatever it was she had already begun to question he stance on slow news days. Perhaps they had their merits after all. She turned up the TV in her office hoping whatever was transpiring in Nevada didn't hit the wires until she could be briefed by Leo and the President.

Twenty minutes later senior staff were once again convened in the Oval and CJ got her answers. Thankfully there was no natural disaster or major death and destruction to contend with. An inmate from Nevada State Penitentiary had somehow managed to escape past numerous obstacles of armed guards and metal bars and was now on the run.

"When did this happen?" Sam questioned as CJ immediately began to take notes.

"The alarm was sounded at 7.37 am when guards found the cell usually occupied by one Joseph Flynn to be empty. A lockdown was immediately instigated but a search of the entire building and grounds found nothing. Right now we have no idea how this happened. Flynn was in his cell at lights out last night and had disappeared without a trace by this morning. Unless he dabbled in magic tricks in between murders we can assume he had help both on the inside and the outside so as to pull this off. Roadblocks have been set up in a 200 mile radius of the prison. Every available officer is out there looking for him. The FBI is en route to the prison as we speak. The President is to receive a briefing in the sit room in a few minutes."

Leo so we have a file on this guy? I'm going to need to know his life story before I face the Press on this. What with the road blocks and FBI involvement we'll be seeing this on CNN any minute now."

"Speak to Charlie" the President tells her. "He'll get you the file. Keep the briefing for 10am so that you have enough time to prepare."

"Yes sir." CJ responds as the President dons his jacket in his own unique way and heads out of the office presumably going to the situation room.

About to face a rabid Press Corp CJ enlists Sam's help in piecing together the life and many crimes of the escapee Justin Flynn.

Before she can even reach her office she hears her phone begin to ring. "Carol, there's about to be a lot of Press enquiries regarding a prison break in Nevada. Just tell them we'll have information on the situation at the 10 o clock briefing. I need you to circulate a memo to all communications staff, actually you better make that all White House staff, that no one is to discuss anything about this with the Press either on or off the record. If I get hit with a single quote about this in the briefing room from a staffer that's not me you can rest assured that somebody is getting fired.

"Got it, Boss." Carol gets to work and CJ looks to see where Sam had gotten to. He's approaching her with what she hopes Is Justin Flynn's file in his hand. Entering her office she takes a seat behind her desk. Sam closes the door and remains standing.

Opening the file he reads in silence for a few seconds. "OK let's start with the basics shall we. Joseph Flynn aged 56, originally from Miami but moved around a lot. He was expelled from two different schools and has no college education. He worked a few odd jobs labouring on building sites mostly but it seems he lived fairly well off money his parents left him. He is or should currently be serving life in prison for the murder of a young family in North Carolina. Before that he had previous convictions for burglary and aggravated assault. Throw in some public order offenses and there's not a lot this guy hasn't been convicted of. This is one seriously bad guy CJ."

"Can I see that?" she asks as she reaches out and takes the file Sam offers her. The photo staring up at her looks fairly recent. She gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as she glances at the picture. An involuntary shiver runs down her spine. She would question Sam's use of bad as a descriptor. Evil seems more appropriate to her. He is thin and gaunt with long greying hair and a greyish beard shrouding his face. He wears a pair of cheap looking glasses that rest awkwardly on his nose and emphasize his hollowed out cheeks. She shakes off the discomfort the man's image has provoked in her subconscious. She doesn't have time to be overcome with unpleasant memories right now. She continues to read the file to get a clearer account of this man's crimes.

Flynn had been jailed seventeen years ago for the murder of a young family, a father and mother and their two children, in Charlotte NC. He had viciously stabbed them to death in an unprovoked and merciless attack in their own home. It had emerged after his arrest that the family had been unknown to their murderer but simply had the misfortune of attracting the attention of a madman.

Flynn had shown no remorse for his actions and had been denied a bail hearing just six months previously. He was clearly still a risk to society. A psychologists report included in the file stated that Flynn's personality bordered on psychotic and he had no doubt the criminal would kill again if given the opportunity.

CJ hoped the FBI and the Nevada Police had some leads to report soon because this had potential to be disastrous. There would be widespread panic with a man like this on the loose and she doubted the Press coverage would do anything to alleviate that. There was a knock on the door and Carol appeared. "Five minutes to the briefing." "Thanks Carol. Can you call over to Leo's office and check there's nothing more I need to know before I get in there."

Carol nodded and left the office. Sam handed CJ the notes he had been making for her and left to brief Toby. He gave CJ a sympathetic smile before closing the door. Hers was the last job anyone wanted on a day like today.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks to everyone for your reviews and encouragement! nallaa and Veridissima i'm a huge fan of your stories so it means a lot that you took the time to read mine! The story continues…

CJ walked toward the podium with a practiced confident stride and waited for the press to settle down before she began to speak.

"As I'm sure you all know by now the convicted murderer Joseph Flynn escaped from Nevada State Penitentiary sometime between the hours of 9pm last night and 7.30am this morning. A massive state wide search is currently underway. Road blocks have been set up on all highways and on all roads crossing state borders. There has been a nationwide alert issued and Flynn's picture has been sent to every police station in the country. Airports have been put on alert and police are canvassing all bus and railway stations in the surrounding areas and beyond. The investigation is on-going but right now little is known of how the prisoner managed to escape."

"CJ, does the President have anything to say to the family and friends of the Jacobs family now that their killer is free once more?"

"Arthur the president's thoughts and prayers are with the Jacobs family and friends at this very difficult time. He would like to ensure them that every possible measure will be taken to see this killer is put back in prison where he belongs."

"CJ a report commissioned by this administration into the countries prisons just last year named Nevada State Penitentiary as the third most secure corrective institution in the country. Given these events does the President still trust the countries prisons to keep its citizens safe and dangerous criminals behind bars or should we expect more prison breaks like this one in the future?"

"Katie firstly this is an isolated incident. The President certainly hasn't lost faith in the prison system. He is allocating every possible resource to the police and FBI to assist in the search and bring Joseph Flynn back into custody swiftly and peacefully. Secondly the President intends to discover exactly how this prison break occurred and strengthen security accordingly in prisons all over the county. The safety of American citizens is and always has been the Presidents primary concern."

"We are advising people at this time to study the recent photos of Joseph Flynn being broadcast on the news and be careful to whom they open their doors. Under no circumstances should any civilian attempt to approach him. He is presumed armed and has already proven himself to be very dangerous. Any information on the whereabouts of Mr Flynn should be reported immediately by calling 911 or the special FBI hotline on 1-800-225-5234."

"CJ, does the FBI have any leads at all on Flynn's possible whereabouts or any known associates that may have helped him escape?"

"This is an on-going investigation in its early stages Mark. Experts are currently examining any and all communication Flynn has had with the outside world since he was incarcerated. They are also questioning any of Flynn's known associates and other prisoners to determine who might have knowledge of his escape and his plans now he is on the run. As I said the investigation is still in its early stages. I'll be back to brief you this afternoon and my office will make sure to update you of any progress in the meantime. Thank you."

Reporters called out her name as she stepped hastily down from the podium but she didn't look back or invite and of them to her office for follow up questions. She didn't have the information they were looking for. The only person who did was Joseph Flynn himself.

She made her way back to her office to see how this was being played out on the news and in the media. CNN were currently showing pictures the family that had fallen victim to Flynn. The screen showed a beautiful young couple smiling at each other blissfully on their wedding day. This image was followed by that of the family gathered around a birthday cake decorated with seven brightly coloured candles. A young girl attempted to blow them out and make her wish before her older brother could beat her to it. They were the perfect family. This man had just become the most wanted and most hated criminal in America.

The screen switched back to the news anchor who proceeded to talk about Flynn's past crimes and troubled background. Another picture appeared on screen. This one was of a younger Joseph Flynn, before his time in prison. He was clean shaven and had hair that had yet to turn grey. His face was fuller and he wore no glasses.

CJ gasped and placed a hand over the scar that marred her stomach as pain ripped through her abdomen just like a knife had twenty four years before. "Oh my God." She screamed the words in her head but they escaped her mouth as a strangled whisper. The strange feeling she experienced when reading his file earlier suddenly began to make sense. It had been a kind of déjà vu. Her subconscious had tried to remind her that she had seen this man once before. It was the same man who had haunted her nightmares for over two decades. It was the monster who had taken her family from her.

She was in shock. Her knees felt weak and she lowered herself carefully to the couch. All those years of wondering. Her families' killer had been in jail for most of them. That thought did little to ease the pain. In the back of her mind there was an irrational guilt. If she had only tried harder when talking to the police, if she had remembered more and given a better description maybe the Jacobs family would still be alive today. But she wouldn't blame herself for the crimes of a monster. She remembered very little about the days following that night. She had been barely conscious and consumed with terror and grief.

Now he was free again. Free to roam the country and target new victims and plan his next killing spree. Anger quickly overcame shock and she wanted to barge into the Oval office and demand to know every detail of the investigation and have the efforts to catch this man trebled at least. She wanted to tell the world how dangerous and psychotic he really was and to stay away from him at all costs. Yet she couldn't do that. She had never spoken of her family's deaths to anyone in the administration. She had never made good on the promise she had made to herself and to Danny to fill everyone in on her tragic past. She wished Danny was here now instead of travelling the world in search of a story and time away from her. It was difficult for her to admit even to herself just how much she missed him.

She needed to tell someone. She needed to tell the President and Leo. But in doing so she feared she would be giving Joseph Flynn even more power over her. The power to turn her life upside down and take everything she had from her for a second time.

"CJ, are you ok?" She jumped, started by the sudden interruption to her thoughts. Josh is standing in her doorway and she really hopes he hasn't been there for long.

"Yes I'm fine, why?"

"It's just your looking a little pale there CJ and I called your name twice before you noticed me."

Getting up she goes to sit behind her desk once more.

"Yes, sorry I was miles away. I'm fine Josh, really," she reassures him though he still looks doubtful. Thank god it wasn't Toby. She could never get anything past him.

"What did you need?"

"Just wanted to say you did a good job at the briefing and that Leo wants us in his office in half an hour."

"Thanks Josh. I'll see you in half an hour I guess."

"OK. See you."

She grabs some papers and pretends to be working. She feels his eyes linger on her for a few seconds before he turns around and leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

CJ spent the rest of the day jumping at loud noises and in a constant state of distraction. The press was hungry for news to report and were soon frustrated by the slow pace of the investigation which had yet to turn up any concrete leads. They seemed to sense her absent mindedness in the briefing room and circled like vultures looking for blood. Luckily she managed to keep her cool and got out of there with no major gaffs.

By 9pm she was exhausted both mentally and physically. Her head ached and she couldn't remember the last time she had been this tired, not even that awful night at Rosslyn. Deciding she could end up doing more harm than good if she stood in front of the press corp one more time that day she claimed illness and went home early. She must have looked as tired as she felt because Leo didn't even question her just told her to go get some rest. She left Henry in charge with orders to only page her if absolutely necessary.

So much for a restful night of sleep. She dozed fitfully in an armchair in her living room with the television on and tuned to CNN. After waking for the second time from another vivid and harrowing nightmare she gave up on sleep altogether and went out for a run.

Covering the dark circles under her eyes was more difficult than usual and she knew it would be obvious she had gotten little sleep last night. Still arriving at work early she felt calmer and more composed than the day before. There had been many reports of sightings of Flynn all across the country but the FBI was following up on a couple of leads that he was hiding out somewhere in the Reno area.

Hopefully they would catch him soon and this entire nightmare would be over. With him back in jail she would finally have some semblance of justice for her family and might actually be able to move on. But she also worried he wouldn't be caught and thoughts of him out there very likely hurting others the way he had hurt her would haunt her days and nights for the rest of her life. No. That simply wasn't possible. He was just one man. Just one man who was running from every law enforcement agent in the country. Surely he couldn't stay free for long. The laws of probability were clearly on her side.

One advantage of being so early was how few people were around to interrupt her in her morning tasks. After feeding Gail she grabbed the overnight wires, settled behind her desk and got to work organising herself for senior staff and the first briefing of the day. She started with other news deciding to leave dealing with anything related to Justin Flynn a little longer. It was a big country and there was more going on than just one prison escapee.

In senior staff which was held in the Oval office that morning the President enquired after her health having heard she hadn't been feeling well the previous evening.

"I'm good, thank you sir. It was just a headache," she replied surprised he had felt the need to bring it up at all. "Well alright then. I want you to make sure you take care of yourself Claudia Jean and that goes for the rest of you also. I know how hard you all work."

By now CJ was starting to feel self-conscious. "You do look tired CJ" Leo added.

"Jeez you guys, thanks so much." She glanced around the room. "Do I look that bad? All of you are watching me like I'm about to keel over at any minute. I really feel fine today, ok."

She knew her outburst would do nothing to alleviate their concerns and regretted it immediately. She appreciated them looking out for her but she didn't want to talk about herself right now. She just wanted to focus on work.

They had all noticed her behaviour yesterday. Her eyes were missing their usual sparkle and she hadn't cracked a single joke.

"Ok moving on." Leo comes to her rescue. "Josh and Sam what time is your meeting on the hill with Lutz and Stackhouse?"

Before Leo and Josh could get into specifics regarding the budget negotiations they had planned for today Charlie knocked and opened the door to admit Ron Butterfield.

"Well this cannot be good," Sam mumbles from his spot near her.

Ron's face looked grave and that always spelled trouble.

"Sir I'm sorry to interrupt but this is a matter of some urgency. The White House received a letter this morning claiming to be from Joseph Flynn. We have a preliminary match on a hand writing sample in his file and we believe the letter is authentic."

Everyone in the room sat up straighter waiting to hear what he would say next. Why would an escaped murderer currently on the run be writing to the White House?

"In the letter he says he has escaped from prison so as to settle some unfinished business regarding a murder he claims to have committed in Ohio over twenty years ago."

CJ held her breath. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the arm of her chair forcefully.

"He claims he killed a young family after forcing his way into their home. Neighbours must have heard gunshots and called the police because he was interrupted when he heard sirens nearby. He was forced to make a quick getaway and the youngest victim, a twelve year old girl, survived. He claims he has followed her movements these last few years having read in the papers that she hadn't died. He goes on to say that she currently has a successful career in the White House and that is the reason he sent the letter here. He has threatened her life sir."

"Does he give her name?" the President enquires of his head of security, baffled by these latest developments.

"No sir, but he has included some graphic photos of the crime he claims to have committed. I have agents checking for a record of these murders as we speak."

The President took the photos from Ron. "Oh dear Lord" he breathes as he looks at them and hastily passes them off to Leo. The pictures slowly make their way around the room. Each member of the senior staff looks shocked at the violence they contain.

CJ's breathing is shallow. Her heart is beating hard and fast in her chest. Her hands shake slightly as she reaches out to take the photos Sam offers to her.

There are three. The first shows a man crumpled on the ground by a door, his shirt covered in blood. _Daddy_.

The next is of a woman and her son, their eyes vacant and empty. _Oh god no_.

The third shows a teenaged boy and a young girl. The boy might look peaceful if it wasn't for the pool of blood surrounding him. The young girls face is screwed up in pain and her hand is pressed to her stomach. She is clearly the only member of the family still clinging to life.

To have these scenes play out in her nightmares had been bad enough but to have them presented to her in these horrifyingly vivid photographs in the Oval office was worse than any scenario she could have imagined.

Disjointed images of her families last moments flashed through her mind. She covered her mouth with her hand because she didn't trust herself not to cry out or scream. Slowly she passed the pictures to Toby the only person present who had yet to see them.

Oh god she felt sick. She felt like her heart was being torn from her body. Her emotions swirled, a mix of horror, grief, anger and terror all fighting each other for prominence in her head.

She felt really sick.

"Excuse me" she mumbled as she quickly rose from her seat and left the office as fast as her long legs would carry her. For once she didn't care what they thought of her as she left. That they might think her weak for losing it after looking at some photos didn't bother her. All that she cared about right now was getting to the bathroom before she threw up the small breakfast she had managed to eat.

The men watched her go with shock and concern. She fit so well into the boys club of the senior staff and rarely showed such strong emotions.

"Should I go after her?" Josh asks both himself and the others.

"No just give her a minute. Those photos are intense. It's no wonder they got to her. She'll be back when she's ready."

Toby looked doubtful. "Can I see that photo again? Does anyone else think that woman looks a bit familiar?"

"Ok maybe this is crazy but CJ's from Ohio and has a successful career in the White House. Has anyone ever heard her talk about her family?"

The men in the room all glance at each other, uncomfortable and disbelieving. That couldn't be their CJ in that horror scene, could it?

"Oh crap. Josh I think maybe you'd better go check on her after all."


	7. Chapter 7

Before Josh could even make it to the door CJ had returned looking pale but remarkably composed. Her press secretary persona was firmly in place. It had to be if she was going to get through this inevitable conversation. She had imagined how she would tell her co-workers many times but all at once in the Oval office was certainly not ideal.

She reclaimed her seat and surveyed the men in the room who she thought of as family. They watched her silently and intently, the air of the Oval was thick with apprehension. It was obvious that they suspected. Taking the information Ron had given them they had jumped to the most apparent conclusion and they happened to be correct. A middle aged woman with a successful career in the White House, of course they would think of her first. What was that rule again? Occam's Razor: oftentimes the simplest solutions are the right ones.

With her eyes downcast she began to speak quietly. "I guess I have some explaining to do. Believe me when I say I wanted to tell you all so many times. I almost did, during the campaign trip to Dayton or after Roslyn but I stopped myself. Not because I don't trust you all. I do. I was afraid. I didn't want any of you to see me differently or to think I couldn't handle this job."

"My family was murdered in our home in Dayton twenty four years ago. I suffered a stab wound to my lower left abdomen. They had to take out my spleen and I was left with an ugly scar but no real long term damage. Physically at least."

"Sir, do you remember that trip we made to St Agnes' foster home in Dayton when we were campaigning there?" she looks up at him tentatively and he nods at her compassion clear on his face. "I lived there after I got out of the hospital until I left for Berkley when I was seventeen. i hadn't been back to Dayton until that trip."

"They never caught my family's killer. At the time my memories of that night were hazy and my descriptions to the police weren't worth much. I never had a name to put to the face of the monster in my nightmares. That was until I saw a picture of him on CNN yesterday. Justin Flynn."

The name tastes sour in her mouth.

"CJ why didn't you come tell us yesterday when you realised who he was?"

"Leo, when the press gets a hold of this they'll have even more reason to focus on a story that reflects badly on this administration. I don't want my connection to Joseph Flynn to get out. If it does nothing I say on the topic will be given any merit. I'll be seen as a victim and nothing more. Frankly I'm astounded none of them have printed the story on my family's murder already. It took Danny all of a day to put this thing together. That man's observational skills are nothing short of frightening."

"Danny Concannon knows about this?" Toby sounds less than pleased.

"He figured it out after our visit to St Agnes'. He told me to tell you all but I can be stubborn I guess."

"I can't believe Danny didn't print it. He must really like you CJ."

Shooting Josh a glare for his comment she answered "He has ethics Josh. He didn't want to print a story that had no purpose but to cause pain."

Josh looks apologetic.

Sam reaches over and takes her hand. She smiles at him gratefully and looks around the room to measure the others reactions. Leo appears lost in thought no doubt thinking of the possible political ramifications should this become common knowledge. Josh still looks shocked by the whole thing. The President seems concerned and supportive. CJ is relieved by this. Anger still marrs Toby's features. She knows he has every right to be mad at her for keeping this a secret for the entire length of their friendship. She hopes he can see past it and forgive her. She'll need his support to deal with whatever happens next.

"Ron what exactly is it Flynn is threatening to do?"

"He doesn't go into specifics sir but from what he says his whole rationale for escaping revolves around Ms Cregg and the desire to harm her further."

"Should I take this seriously?" CJ asks nervously. "He's on the run with every law enforcements agent in the country searching for him. His movements will be severely limited. Chances are he'll never make it as far as DC." She is trying to convince herself more than the others of her safety.

"_We _will take this very seriously CJ."

"I would tend to agree sir. This man is clearly dangerous and a sophisticated criminal. He has committed numerous murders, escaped from a secure facility and evaded capture this long. To underestimate him would be a mistake."

"Ok then Ron, how do you suggest we proceed?"

"Because of Ms Cregg's position here we will be treating this as a threat on the life of the President. I intend to increase general security here in the White House. Ms Cregg will be assigned Secret Service protection until the convict is apprehended once more. There will be two agents posted around the clock to her home so as to monitor any unusual activity and all her mail will be screened by us before it reaches her."

"Ron are you being serious? This is completely unnecessary." CJ is appalled at the extreme measures that were to be put into place for her protection.

"Claudia Jean you are like family to me and a completely irreplaceable member of this staff. There is no one else I would trust to handle the press the way you do. You will accept these measures for your own safety and also for the peace of mind of all of us here in this room. If Rosslyn has thought me anything it's that I should do everything in my power to keep those I care about safe."

CJ notices Josh shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"Alright, Mr President. I'll accept protection."

CJ is awed by the Presidents protectiveness over her. She doesn't know what she did to deserve the care of this great man but right now she is grateful for it. She imagines this is what the love of a parent feels like, something she has little knowledge of having lost her own parents so young.

"The press will want to know why there are treasury agents following me sir."

"You say what you always say CJ." Leo answers. "The White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff. We'll deal with the rest as it comes. Are you sure you want to work today?"

"Absolutely, Leo. He took everything from me once before, I won't let him ruin what I have now. For once in my life I'm surrounded by people who love me, I have a job I love and I'm truly happy. This is where I belong and where I'm needed. I'm not going anywhere."

CJ's passion and strength had returned in full. Leo marvelled at her resilience. This was still their CJ and he really believed she would make it out of this even stronger than she was before. God knows they needed her here.

Still he worried about the logistics of CJ briefing on a topic that had become intensely personal for her and what the reaction would be if and when the press connected the dots.

"Sir if you'll excuse me I'm going to get started on organizing Ms Cregg's protection detail right away. CJ I'll come by your office in an hour and explain exactly how this will work."

"Thank you Ron."

"OK everyone we're done here for now. We'll do this again in my office in two hours." Leo dismisses the staff.

They got up to leave. CJ was the last to reach the door. She turned back when the President addressed her. "CJ I'm sorry this is happening to you. But I promise you everything will be fine. We'll get through this together, ok."

"Thank you, sir. For everything." Her voice was choked with unshed tears as she turned hastily and left the Oval office.


	8. Chapter 8

The week passed on with no dramatic capture of any escaped convicts and very few leads on the whereabouts of Joseph Flynn. The press began to tire of the story and to CJ's relief she now spent only a small portion of each briefing addressing the issue. Instead they put their efforts into writing scathing articles on the state of law enforcement in the country. The Bartlett administration was dragged through the mud on numerous occasions being called weak, ineffective and feeble. Not up to the task of keeping the countries citizens safe.

She was surprised and relieved at the press' acceptance of the increased security and the secret service agents assigned to her who would flank the doors on either side of the podium during her briefings. There had been questions on their presence for a couple of days following their sudden appearance. CJ was grateful that the press had accepted her light hearted explanation.

"CJ, we can't help notice the two burly agents guarding the doors behind you. Is there something going on?" Chris broached the topic before one of the others could.

"It's nothing to worry about, Chris. Just a strongly worded letter and the Presidents overprotective nature coming out in full force."

Little more explanation was needed. The President was known to be hugely security conscious when it came to his family and that that would extend to his staff, particularly with the events of Roslyn fresh in everyone's minds, was completely understandable. Knowing they would get nothing more out of CJ they let the topic go for now at least.

Personally CJ was finding it difficult to adjust to her new reality. Being followed constantly was extremely disconcerting, especially for someone who was so used to her independence. Not being able to drive her own car was frustrating to say the least. She couldn't even leave the White House to get lunch without having to give her agents an hours' notice and a detailed itinerary. Going out for a run was completely out of the question.

At the office, except for when she was in the press room, she had a little more freedom with just one watchful agent who made sure to keep a discreet distance. There had been no further threats or communication of any kind with Flynn and CJ had started to believe once more that Ron was giving the convicts menacing words more credit than they deserved.

She sat in her office Tuesday evening contemplating what her life had become in the six days since Flynn's escape. Her spin boys had certainly made a valiant effort to treat her as they always had but there was a weariness in their interactions with her now that had never been there before. They hesitated when talking to her, measuring their words so as to avoid saying anything that might upset her. She tried not to hold it against them. After all she had done the exact same thing when talking to Josh after his incident over Christmas. Toby's reaction was the most noticeable. He was obviously angry at her. He tried not to show it but having known him for so long it was easy to see. Part of her felt like it was the fact that she had confided in Danny and not him that was really bothering him.

A light tapping on the open door broke her train of thought and she looked up to see Carol standing in her doorway, a wide smile lighting up her face.

"Hey. Did you win the lottery or something?"

"I wish! You have a visitor."

"OK. Well who is it?" she asked when Carol just continued to stand there.

"Do you have time now?"

"Well I'd rather know who it is before I decide that, Carol."

A face appeared behind Carols shoulder and her assistant's odd behaviour began to make sense.

"Hey CJ" he smiled at her and she almost gasped. Well speak of the devil….

"Danny, my God what are you doing here? I thought you were after getting lost somewhere in some African desert."

"Not quite."

He entered her office and Carol closed the door discretely behind her.

CJ rose from her seat and walked to him hugging him tightly.

"It's good to see you" she said pulling back. "Seriously though where have you been. I haven't seen your by-line in the post lately. I was starting to get worried."

"You've been keeping track of me? CJ, I'm touched."

His eyes sparkled mischievously but soon turned serious. "It really is good to see you. I missed you." She held his gaze for a moment then looked down at the carpet.

Moment over his voice returned to normal.

"I left Africa about a month ago now."

"Ya, I noticed you're looking a little pale there."

She took a seat on her couch and motioned for him to join her.

She noticed more than how pale he looked. He had lost weight and for some reason he was wearing a visitors pass around his neck instead of his usual press pass. Sure she had been upset with him when he left but she certainly didn't remember revoking his credentials.

"Is everything ok?" She asked him softly, worried about him now.

"Everything is good. I left Africa on doctor's orders after coming down with a nasty bout of Malaria. Those Plasmodium falciparum parasites sure do punch above their weight." His joke fell flat.

"Oh my God Danny! People die from that." She reached over and took his hand suddenly terrified at the thought of losing him. "Why didn't anyone tell me you were ill?"

"I've been keeping a low profile. Been staying at my sister's place at home in Michigan. Catching up with family mostly. I look an extended leave of absence from the Post, doctor's orders again, and I knew I'd go crazy being in DC and not working."

"You're really ok?"

"Yes" he answers her calmly and assuredly. "A little slower at walking up stairs than I used to be, but hey that's what elevators are for right."

This time she smiled.

"I missed you Danny."

He knows how difficult it is for her to admit this. To have the woman he adored, this beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman tell him she missed him while he had been away meant more to him than any number of Pulitzer Prizes ever could.

She leans over and kisses him softly and briefly on the lips.

He couldn't believe his luck.

"So, what's been going on around here? Secret Service in the briefing room now? That's certainly new."

He sees her hesitate. Lifting up his visitors pass he waves it in front of her eyes.

"I'm not a reporter right now remember. I'm here as a friend CJ. I just wanna catch up. You can talk to me. I promise."

"You know most of the story already anyway. There is just one new little piece. I know who killed my family Danny. But you know what the worst thing is. There is a part of me that wishes I didn't know and that I could just go on living the way I have been even if means never getting justice for them. How selfish is that."

"You're not selfish CJ. Who is it? How did you find out?"

"You still sound like a reporter, you know. I saw his picture on CNN. Not a face I'm ever likely to forget. It's Justin Flynn."

"What?" Danny looks shocked at the revelation. He manoeuvres himself closer to her on the couch.

"He sent a letter to the White House explaining how he intended to finish what he started twenty four years ago. Hence the secret service protection."

He didn't know what he had expected when he asked her the question but this certainly hadn't been it. He was filled with a myriad of emotions. Anger, worry and fear chief among them. Thank heavens the President had ordered protection for her. He just hoped it would be enough to keep her safe.

"Wow we're some pair huh! Both been having a grand ole time of it lately."

"I should get back to work Danny" CJ informs him regrettably. "How long are you in town for?"

"A couple weeks at least."

Looking at him it was clear that he wasn't going anywhere until he knew she was safe. She realised again how lucky she was to have the friends she did.

"How about dinner during the week? My place since I can't really get out and about right now. You bring the take out."

"Sounds great."

"Ok. I'll call you."

He brushed a chaste kiss against her cheek and stood up to leave.

She sat there as he closed the door revelling in the tingling feeling his soft lips and beard left on her skin.


End file.
